It is my opinion that even if you personally have not been in an abusive relationship, you know someone who has.
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| Domestic Violence |
I myself never experienced physical abuse in a relationship, I have however experienced mental & emotional abuse which some find to be just as bad and others don't believe is even a real thing but today I'm going to talk about how physical abuse affected me.
I remember being a sophomore in high school (2005) and a family member of mine who I am very close to started dating a guy. She quickly fell for him, spent most of her time with him, only coming home to sleep. In what seemed like a blink of an eye I noticed she was doing his homework, running all his errands, essentially jumping when he said jump. It got to a point where she even tattooed his name on her and they were not even together a year.
Our family really began to take notice when she got arrested not once but twice for stealing from work. Our elders knew this was not the girl they raised and as it turned out the money was not for her but was for none other than her boyfriend. At this point I remember I stopped speaking to her, I did not know how to handle the situation, I felt like she would not listen to me because I was younger and my opinion would be irrelevant. I thought my silence would somehow show her how angry I was with the path she chose. I was wrong, not only would she not listen to me she would not listen to anyone, she was under his spell, she was brainwashed.
I distinctively remember my late grandmother saying after the arrests that she thinks she is being abused but I didn't believe it, didn't think it possibly went that far. Abused? Not this strong beautiful black woman I know and love.
Summer of 2006, I'm in New York as I usually am to visit my dad. I get a phone call from my mother telling me that my strong beautiful black woman is in the hospital, she was pushed out of a moving car. My heart sunk when I heard the news, being so far away, I felt helpless.
Later when I came back to Florida I heard directly from her and apparently she was being abused almost the entire relationship. It started off small and slowly escalated. Not too long before this incident they got into an argument in the car, he punched her in the face so she came home late and kept her room dark to hide the scars from our family.
In this particular final incident, I recall her saying he was upset that she came to pick him up late from somewhere and began to choke her while they were driving. In order to free herself she unbuckled the seat belt and asked him to stop, he wouldn't stop the vehicle and she ended up on the road while the car was going over 40 mph.
Men and women tend to think that we can change our partner. "Maybe if I do this he/she would be happy." "He/she said this was the last time they'd talk to me this way or hit me, let me give them another chance..." NO! A person will only change if they are willing to change, there is nothing you personally can do! I learned from experience. Whether you are being mentally, emotionally or physically abused you need to get out before it's too late. I know so many people whose loved ones didn't make it out until they were in a casket.
I'm fortunate that mine is still here to share her story and learn from her experience.
Join my coworkers and I in Triumph!
Become my team member and walk or run against Domestic Violence on Saturday February 25, 2017 @ NSU Davie Campus!
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